Archive for the ‘Help Me Ronda Column’ Category

A Devastating Loss – Stealing To Support Addiction

Posted Saturday, January 28th, 2012 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda,

Recently I received a beautiful 100 year old ruby ring, which was in my family, as a gift. While visiting family in another state over the holidays the ring was stolen. Because one of my cousins was known to have a troubled life, alcohol being a major problem for him, I believe he took the ring to get money for it. He knew how important this ring was to me and I can’t believe he would do this to me.

I just can’t figure out why this happened to me, I have been in tears and sick ever since the incident. I can’t understand why this happened to me. The ring has been in the family so long and I had it one week and lost it. Any advice?

- Saddened Sara

A: Dear Saddened Sara, (more…)


Dating World Can Be Scary

Posted Sunday, October 2nd, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

I’m a sixteen year old girl and I’ve just started dating. During my last date I ended up crying because my date started to make advances I wasn’t prepared for.

We were in the park and he asked me if he could massage my shoulders. At first I said no but agreed since I love having my shoulders massaged. He then started massaging my head so I put my head on his lap. Within minutes he started making the advances and I starting crying so he stopped.

I just met this guy and this upset me greatly to have him do this. Now I’m scared to go out on a date with a new guy. How do I know who is a creep and who is not?

- Baffled Becky

A: Dear Baffled Becky, (more…)


From Coward To Empowered By Being Coached

Posted Sunday, October 2nd, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

I’m a coach myself and recently have been struggling with raising my fees for my coaching service. At present I’ve been charging less than the average coach and working with people who may react negatively to the price increase. I also worry about the reaction of new possible clients after I mention my fees.

How do I approach this sticky subject with my old clients?
Is there something I can do to feel comfortable with changing my price for my coaching service?

- Cowardly Coach

A: Dear Cowardly Coach, (more…)


Removing Negative People From Our Lives

Posted Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

A couple of months ago I wrote to you about a challenging relationship coming to an end, and you helped me by pointing out that relationships based on one person helping the other wasn’t enough to sustain a lasting relationship.

You also suggested I ask myself, before starting a new relationship, what value does this person bring into my life besides me having a good feeling helping them?

I wanted to share with you, and your readers, the value of this simple advice and how not having this negative person in my life anymore has impacted my life immediately.

Wow, Wow, Wow…although my business was good, we tripled our monthly income two months in a row now. It’s hard to believe how much energy I put into helping this person drained my energy and focus to do better in my own life.

If one negative person leaving my life helped this much; I wonder what would happen if I removed them all?

Is there a simple check list to follow to remove negative people from our lives?
-Helping Helen Renewed

A: Dear Helping Helen Renewed, (more…)


Trying To Control Life Only Causes Stress

Posted Friday, July 1st, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

I recently graduated from college and I know I am suppose to get a job, have a family, live healthily, get married and so forth. But, I guess I want my life to mean that at the end of my life people will say I was a beautiful spirit. I have doubts about having a family, a job etc. but I don’t want to be stuck and not have those things.

I know parents raise their kids so they can contribute to the next generation, live on after them and be self sufficient so they get on in the world. But now it is my responsibility to get on in the world and I don’t like that. The alternative is not what I want, and it just sucks that I have to choose to live, but it’s the right choice to make, even if I become a complete mess up.

Do you have any suggestions on how I can make me responsible and do what I am suppose to do?
- Resistant Rachelle

A: Dear Resistant Rachelle, (more…)


Struggling With Friends Behaviors

Posted Friday, July 1st, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

A few months ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. The doctor informed me how my choices have contributed to my health problems. He said this type of diabetes could be reversed by changing my behaviors. With the knowledge from my doctor, and the guidance of a good nutritionist, I have made significant improvements.

I lived a very carefree life without much concern for my well-being. With this recent diagnosis I’m making a big effort to change my lifestyle for the better and ultimately my health.

Although my health is improving, I am struggling with the behavior of several of my friends. Since making these lifestyle changes, needless to say I haven’t been consuming alcohol or eating junk food, and the soda had to go.

Some of my friends are very supportive, but there are a few that treat me like I have a contagious disease. They say hurtful things like you are not fun anymore; you might as well give up on life if you can’t party with us, and the name calling is endless. I never knew they had such a poor view on how I looked until I dropped 20 pounds.

When I told them how I felt about how they are treating me, they just got more abusive and said I now turning into a wimp. How do I make them understand their behavior is mean-spirited?
- Transitioning Tina

A: Dear Transitioning Tina, (more…)


Power & Control In Relationships – Substantial Issue

Posted Wednesday, June 1st, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

Over several months a friend of mine increasing got upset with me for the choices I made to improve my life. These choices included moving to another region and the dynamics of the relationship would change. I tried to explain to her the importance of my decisions, but her displeasure with me became more abusive from snarky comments to down right insults.

She sent me an email letter pointing out all the things that bothered her about me. Things like me not knowing when to stop helping her with everything and just be her friend.

Since the relationship was formed on me helping her I replied to the email with my thoughts and feelings on the subject and took responsibility for not setting up proper boundaries in the beginning of the relationship. She completely ignored my thoughts and feelings and replied with more blaming for the relationship going wrong.

Although I wasn’t happy with the situation, I wanted to give the relationship time to heal by setting up some boundaries where I would clearly know when she wanted me to help her or just be a friend. Meaning when to use my knowledge and years of business experience or just listen and chat to her in casual conversation.

She expressed her displeasure once again but said she would email me once a week. When I would receive her email from her sharing with me all that she was doing and accomplishing, I would reply immediately praising her and sharing words of encouragement. I would then share with her what I was doing in my life.

The next week I would receive another email with her accomplishments, but never commenting on what I was doing or how I was. Again I would cheer her on, but after a couple of weeks I never heard from her again.

Not sure what else I could have done to save the relationship, do you have any insight to where I went wrong?
-Helping Helen

A: Dear Helping Helen, (more…)


Time To Graduate From Worry

Posted Wednesday, June 1st, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

This week was my graduation and I wanted both my parents to attend in the celebration. I wanted to give everyone the proper attention so they would have a good time and be happy for coming.

Because my parents divorced years ago, I had to divide my time on my graduation celebrations. When I was with one parent, the other would not be having a good time. I know the time has past, but the next celebration when my parents are both present may be my wedding and I want both of them to be happy.

What can I do the next time to assure their happiness?
- Challenged Candice

A: Dear Challenged Candice, (more…)


Should A Person Dumb Down Their Talents To Fit In?

Posted Monday, May 2nd, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

My challenge always comes down to fitting in with my peers. Because academically I exceed the standards and have gained my Ph.D. long before the normal time frame, my friends always make jokes about me being the ‘brain child’ and don’t comprehend any of my discussions.

I long for intellectual conversations. Should I find new friends or should I just not discuss my interests with my friends and only talk about what they enjoy?
- Brainy Brenda

A: Dear Brainy Brenda (more…)


Gifts With Strings Attached

Posted Monday, May 2nd, 2011 by Ronda Degaust

Q: Help me Ronda!

Recently a friend and I went shopping together and I loved this one dress, but felt it was too much money. She loved it too and decided to buy it for me as a gift. Needless to say I was thrilled with her generosity.

After a couple of days she called to borrow the dress stating since it was expensive, and she paid for it, she thought we could share it. I’ve not worn it yet and I’m not sure what to do, should I pay half the cost?
- Doubting Darlene

A: Dear Doubting Darlene, (more…)