3 Reasons Why You’re Misunderstood When You Communicate

It took me several minutes to clear the tears from my eyes and communicate in a coherent way.

And as quick as the words returned, so did the tears and uncontrollable tremors.

Again I stopped and waited; hoping for the emotional wave to pass over me so that I could yet again regain some sort of control over my own body and nervous system.

Each time I tried ended in failure.

Until, finally, fixating my thoughts on anything but the disturbing image in my mind, I was able to squeak out an apology for acting like an uncontrollable blubbering idiot.

And to think, my uncontrollable state started with this Herman cartoon by Jim Unger and a simple communication problem.

Communicate Herman

Herman by Jim Unger cartoons

Thus started my journey in the Art And Science of NLP and the ability to communicate more effectively.

But where does all this leave you?

Communicate And Grow Rich

To live a rich life, to have rich relationships and belonging to groups that make your devotion feel richly satisfying, that is to live life to the fullest.

But, you’re probably not quite there yet, and there are 3 reasons why.

And those 3 reasons are:

You’re not listening
You’re not adapting your language patterns appropriately
You’re not checking how ‘they’ are feeling

But it’s easy to learn how to correct this. It’s just that no one has actually told you about this particular phenomenon, therefore you are unaware of the simple steps to take.

Who Are You Communicating With?

The first thing you must know is who you are communicating with. And the only way to know that is to listen.

And what you want it be listening for are certain words a person is using when they speak.

Because there are only three different groups of people you’ll be communicating with, it doesn’t take too long to know them all.

When In Rome Communicate As Romans Do

Once you know who you’re communicating with, because you have learned to listen for particular words in their language, then you’re ready to communicate at a higher level.

Now, when I say communicate at a higher level, I mean a much higher level.

You will be connected via a direct link straight to their receptive brain and therefore to an open-minded system of acceptance.

You are one of them, and so, a welcomed guest.

Walk A Mile In Their Communication Shoes

OK, so you’ve listened, you’ve adapted your communication style to mirror theirs, and you’re feeling pretty good about this newfound Charisma that’s happening.

Now What?

Well, it’s not a bag of tricks. If you aren’t honestly interested in the feelings of the person you’re communicating with, they will feel it.

And if that happens then you’ve just set fire to the bridge you’re standing on. And there’s no going back.

So before that happens, make sure you are paying attention to how they are feeling as you both communicate with each other.

If you truly connect in this way you will have a deeper understanding of the person you are communicating with and deep respect will grow between you.

This makes for true intelligent communication from the heart. It’s sincere and not something you can fake for any length of time.

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Bob Clarke
 

Hi I’m Bob Clarke, writer of most of these blog posts. I’m also the Co-Creator, with my wife Ronda, of the Most Comprehensive NLP Training and Coaching Program Online. Our purpose is to bring NLP to you, saving you time, travel and money.