What Everybody Ought to Know About Criticism
Let’s face it; sometimes you’re a little too self-critical
And when you’re too self-critical this can help you tone it down a bit.
Why only tone your criticism down a bit?
Well, because some criticism can be good for you, but too much and you’ll find yourself sleeping with a book like ‘How To Heal from Criticism‘ just to get over it.
You see, criticism is the result of a comparison between 2 or more things while holding one thing to a higher standard. To have high standards is not a bad thing, nor is a little self-criticism to help you reach those higher standards.
As long as you keep it healthy.
Don’t Criticize This Statement
It seems that nowadays people try to whitewash everything. I’m sure you’ve heard at least one person say, “don’t judge a book by its cover.”
Well, that’s a useless statement, even though it might be a good thought, it’s still a useless statement. Why?
Because we are internally programmed to compare and judge everything we come in contact with. It’s how we learn and make decisions. We can’t not do it.
So, of course, we are going to judge a book by its cover, and, so, saying not to do something that we can’t not do, well, that makes it a useless statement, doesn’t it?
That’s as bad as saying don’t think of an orange.
How To Work With Criticism
So if you can’t live without criticism, yet criticism is such a painful problem, what’s a girl or guy to do?
Well, as the old saying goes, “if you can’t beat em, join em.”
If you’re going to be good at self-criticism, you must set the proper rules. Otherwise, you’ll fail miserably, and end up not believing your critical accusations. And you don’t want that.
Setting proper rules is best done in a written form of some type, so grab your pencil or iPad and draw your line in the sand. Meaning, put in statement form what you are willing to put up with and what you are not.
Let’s say we’re going out on Saturday night and typically as we get ready the criticism starts.
And it starts like this. Oh, I can’t wear that it makes me look too fat. Now go to work and be very exact and specific on what amount of fat is too fat, and what amount is OK.
This Is Critical!
Be as specific as you can, right to the ounce or the equivalent number of grams. And add to that, specific detail about how you know that amount of fat is “too fat” or not “too fat.”
A third thing and this is crucial, is that you must write down the purpose you have in needing to be less fat than your too fat limit.
How do you know that the amount of fat you set as a limit to be under is the right amount?
In other words, what does being at that fat limit mean to you?
This will make it much easier and quicker so you can still be critical of yourself, but not waste as much time doing so. Also, it can make the process more business-like and therefore less personal.
So go ahead and give this new form of criticism a try.
But remember, if you’re going to be good at self-criticism you must set the proper rules; otherwise you’ll fail miserably, and end up not believing your own critical accusations. And you don’t want that.