Forgiveness: To Forgive or Not To Forgive
Many people have experienced being wronged by another person and felt anger, resentment and hurt.
Although this is a natural reaction, if you hold onto these feelings you are causing more harm to yourself than you are to the other person.
Anger Is Like Taking Poison
You may have heard the quote “Anger is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.” Well even if you are not hoping the other persons dies, you are still pumping excessive amount of insulin from the pancreases, your adrenals pump out more adrenaline and your liver extra glucose into your body by holding onto any emotion that causes stress on your body.
During the natural fight or flight response, your body does pump out all these chemicals into your body, but it returns to normal very quickly. If you body is stressed due to negative emotions regularly it can wear out the body and in some cases cause heart attacks, strokes and even cancer. For these reasons alone it is a very good reason for forgiveness so you can have a life filled with joy, love, happiness and peace of mind.
Not Forgetting Or Condoning
Forgiving others or yourself does not mean you are forgetting or condoning what has happened. It doesn’t mean you are taking responsibility for the other person hurting you. Or about blaming the other person for your actions if you were the one that needs forgiving.
If you or the other person is the wrongdoer, forgiveness is about letting go of the hurt, resentment and anger and replacing it with understanding, compassion and love. It’s not about whether the person deserves your forgiveness; it is about releasing the past so you can have a healthy and happy present and future.
Not Willing To Forgive = Continued Pain
Not willing to forgive is like tying yourself to a post with sharp spikes piercing your skin, and sharpening the spikes with every time you relive the reason you chose not to forgive.
The biggest reason people choose not to forgive others is to protect themselves from being hurt again. Just because you choose to forgive does not mean you lose the learning you gained from the experience. We do not have the need to repeat the past when we use our learning to guide our decisions in the present and future.