The Real Danger When You Have An Inner Conflict
If you feel torn between a “this or that” situation or if you’re losing sleep fretting about choices you’ve made or have to make, or if you’re feeling regret or remorse over something you had to do or are still doing then you may be suffering from an inner conflict.
These signs and others are symptoms of inner conflict, but the feelings you are experiencing aren’t the worst of it. Inner conflicts causing you to worry are also a potential cause for autoimmune disease and cancer.
Bringing into physical reality the choice/decision that is eating away at you.
I’m going to cover some example causes of inner conflict and what you can do to avoid them as well as what you can do if you are already suffering from inner conflict.
What An Inner Conflict Is
You create an inner conflict in your life when you feel you must choose between two conflicting actions. One that you feel good about and one that you don’t.
The conflict starts with the very fact that you feel you must choose between one thing or the another. A“this or that” situation usually brought on by an outside pressure, e.g., a family member or boss.
The inner conflict becomes locked in when you choose an action that goes against your values. I’ll explain values and how this affects you in more detail as we go.
Inner conflict can be depicted by a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.
This visual is often used in light-hearted comical situations.
But in real life, inner conflicts are not funny and can be deadly serious.
If you look more closely, you’ll see the sinister side of this overlooked demoralizing killer.
The angel represents heaven or more to the point, a state of peace and calming – tranquility.
The devil represents hell or a state of pain and torment.
Tired From Fighting Yourself
Your energy drains more and more as time goes on. You look for answers not realizing that it’s a subconscious process that continues to weaken you.
And if you don’t know what’s causing the problem, how are you ever going to fix it?
Many years ago I suffered from exhaustion while living in Calgary, Alberta Canada.
My exhaustion was due to my emotional state caused by an inner conflict that I had at the time, but all I knew was that I felt physically drained of energy. So I decided to see a local GP doctor about the energy problem.
The day of my appointment I was met by a stern looking small Asian man of few words. After examining me, he succinctly stated, with a heavy Asian accent, “Your horse dead!”
What? I asked, looking at him thinking he was a looney tune.
“Your horse dead!” He said again, “you have horse inside, while making motions toward his chest, “horse life energy, your horse dead.”
It was so ‘matter of fact’ that it scared me, scared me enough to sit up and pay attention. I asked the Dr. more questions, and his advice got me on the right track to recovery, thankfully. Today you’d get a prescription and sent on your way.
Inner Conflict examples:
- You hate your job, but you need the money to support your family. Therefore you must keep doing what you hate.
- You know what you tell the customer isn’t true, but you have to make sales to support your family. Therefore you must lie which goes against your beliefs.
- You are bothered by things said to you, but you keep quiet because you don’t want to hurt others. Therefore you keep the hurt inside you.
- You continue to give too much of your time to your family and others without taking time for yourself. Therefore you build resentment that eats away at you.
Recovery? Not Easy!
Constant internal conflict will wear you out emotionally which then wears on you physically. You can recover from physical energy loss through rest and sleep, but not emotional energy loss.
You can’t sleep off an inner conflict. And it doesn’t go away when you’re not thinking about it, so it continues to burn up more of your life energy. And unless you fix the situation, it will overcome you.
If you allow your emotional energy levels to be continuously drained without recharging, then your immune system will be affected. And once your immune system is compromised, then you have a wide open door for disease and sickness.
The proof is the fact that autoimmune diseases are running rampant these days.
(And I don’t have to tell you why women are more likely than men to be affected.)
Good News – Sort Of
The least damage done by inner conflict is low motivation or desire.
And it stands to reason that if you have no energy or no motivation for any length of time, then you’re going to suffer from a lack of self-worth.
Because no energy and no motivation means no effort, and if you don’t put in the effort you don’t get successful outcomes. So, you’re not going to feel very good about yourself or your abilities if you don’t have successful outcomes as proof of your abilities and worth.
Many types of inner conflict are relatively common and easy to spot, such as your interest versus those of your friends, family, spouse or co-workers.
Another big one is work demands on your time versus family demands. You may suffer from this if you feel you must work more to supply for your family, but working more keeps you from your family. If you spend more time with your family, then you will not be able to work enough to supply what your family needs.
Inner conflicts may start simply with mixed feelings.
Someone may ask something of you, and you agree to do it, but inside you notice an uncomfortable or negative feeling. If you are bothered by more than just a negative or uncomfortable feeling, then that could be a sure sign of future inner conflict problems.
It’s All Because Of Values Conflicts
Inner conflicts start when we have a values conflict. Our values systems hide within our subconscious, and they are your inner guide or compass as to what’s right and wrong for us.
It’s what sets your actions and how you will feel emotionally after you take a particular action.
Your life is set and run according to your values. When you go against your values, you are literally fighting yourself inside.
Your feeling can range from being uncomfortable to downright upset, and over time that inner conflicts or values conflict can create serious diseases like autoimmune disease and cancer.
Want to know more about overcoming inner conflict then contact us about NLP Life Coaching.